Traveling Feast

A new category for periodic posts has surfaced recently that offers real potential alongside our Fortune Cookie Files and Food Service Typos.  This category is Food Kitsch.

Kitsch is a classic German/Yiddish word that typically refers to art that is “excessively garish or sentimental… usually considered in bad taste” according to WordNet.  Other definitions toss in adjectives like vulgar, trite, melodramatic, lowbrow, and tasteless. Some of what is clearly kitsch is simply offensive, but there are also examples of kitsch that are curious, over-the-top, and even wonderful in an odd or disturbed way.

Kitsch shows up everywhere, but one place with a particular affinity for kitsch is the kitchen.  We consider this a true delight, and from time to time we’d love to pass along a few examples.

Today, that is a product about to hit the market called Season Shot.

What is it?  It is food-grade ammunition for your shotgun.

I can’t say it better than the Season Shot website itself: “Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!”

One of their slogans is: SHOOTS, KILLS, SEASONS.

Season Shot also celebrates the fact that their shot brings down your bird without any damage to the environment, and will be available in five delicious flavors: Cajun, Lemon Pepper, Garlic, Teriyaki, and Honey Mustard.

The target market?  (chuckle)  Men equally happy with large fire arms and oven mitts.

FOOD KITSCH METER: 7.5

My sister informed me there was one sacred requirement during my first visit to Safeco Field in Seattle for a Mariners game.  It had nothing to do with Mariners memorabilia.  Nothing to do with the stadium or even baseball.  I had to order (and eat) the “world famous” garlic fries.

Typically when I eat garlic I know I will be sleeping in the basement, but Karen wasn’t along on this particular Seattle junket so garlic fries it was.  That would be RAW GARLIC fries for those of you not yet among the Safeco Field initiates.

Each order came… somewhat curiously… with two thin slices of fresh apple.  I pointed this out to the woman in the concession stand and asked her what the slices were for.  She looked at me with a crooked smile and gestured to her mouth before saying “You know… your breath.”  I appreciated the thought, but one glance at the garlic on the fries told me that an apple slice or two would be woefully inadequate.  Bingo.  I don’t know if it was the garlic fry effect or the fact that the Mariners were playing poorly, but by the 7th inning most of the people around me were gone.

If you are a garlic fiend, one order might be enough to convince you to buy Mariners season tickets.  If you are not, the very fact that the fries are a signature item for the stadium might make you decide to never set foot in Safeco.  The reality for the rest of us is probably somewhere in the middle, but I confess my favorite description of the fries came from a friend, Peter Tobin, here in Spokane when he caught wind of my stadium dining choice.  He called the fries “goopy, greasy, smelly, morsels of love.”

Thanks Peter.  I’m betting you sleep in the basement a lot.

Here is the recipe from Jean.  The original in the Tastes of Italia (July 2004) called for sea bass filets.  I won’t pretend I know enough Italian to translate the recipe’s title on my own.  The magazine renders it “Sea Bass in Crazy Water.”

Jean’s version with tilapia left nothing to be desired so you don’t need to take out a second mortgage on your home to come up with sea bass.

Here is what you need:

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 4 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon dried red chili flakes
• 3 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
• 3 tablespoons capers, rinsed and chopped
• 2 cups Roma tomatoes, diced
• 1 1/2 cups dry white wine
• 1 pinch Kosher salt
• 1 1/2 pounds of tilapia filets (sea bass, red snapper, or grouper also work)
• freshly ground pepper (optional)
• additional chopped parsley for garnish (also optional)

In a large skillet, combine the olive oil, garlic and red chili flakes.  Saute over medium heat for three minutes before adding the parsley, capers, tomatoes, wine, and salt.  Bring to a boil.  Add filets and reduce the heat to medium-low and cook filets about three minutes on each side.  Arrange fish on plates and spoon the sauce/broth over the fish.  Garnish with fresh pepper and parsley if desired and serve hot.